Self-esteem

Dr. Holzmacher's Business LogoWhat is self-esteem…really?  One does not have to go far to hear that so-and-so would be “better” if only they had more self-esteem.  It could also be termed self-regard, confidence or even narcissism.  Perhaps a good definition is the realistic but positive appraisal of one’s abilities and deficits.  This is rarely what people mean when they use the term.  It appears less a realistic self-appraisal than a global sense of satisfaction with oneself.  If we only know ourselves through the eyes of others, how is realistic self-appraisal possible?  Most self-appraisals are not realistic for that reason alone.  If it is skewed toward under-appreciating skills readily perceived by others, then we tend to label these people as modest or depressed.  People who espouse self-perceptions that are more grandiose than what others perceive are labeled as arrogant or narcissistic.  To be so self-satisfied may not be possible, or even desirable.

Self-esteem is often taken to be a global phenomenon.  Once a person catches the self-esteem bug,  contentment will blanket all areas of their life.  This is rarely the case.  More often than not, those who feel very competent in one area view themselves as incompetent in others.  An extreme example is the business magnate who is master of all they survey in the daytime, and feels the incompetent fool at night.  Most confident people readily admit to areas of their life where they feel a bit shaky.  It is nearly a cliche to portray those who boast as actually masking their insecurities.  With so many compartments that comprise the modern life, the energy needed to be satisfied in them all would be staggering.  Most people form a hierarchy of the important tasks in their life, though they may not be consciously aware of doing so.  Those tasks that center about work and family take center stage for most, such that a sense of doing one’s best in either will tend to enhance self-esteem.  A constant theme in outpatient practice are those who believe they could have risen higher in work and education.  Many people place greater emphasis on family activities that give returns they didn’t receive in other areas.  They achieve greater self-esteem by discounting one area and accenting another.  Patient’s suffering with grandiose delusions are extraordinarily satisfied with their life, but the rest of us have to make bargains to feel good about ourselves.

The reasons could be genetic, usa viagra no prescription substance abuse, drugs, alcohol, or even some disease. Here, you’ll find the smallest GPS device available today regencygrandenursing.com viagra generika with real-time tracking capabilities that span throughout the entire body. Moreover, owners are given two options for selling their cheap india viagra laptop; they can either exchange it at the store then you can buy Kamagra Jelly or sildenafil jelly online. The impacts buy viagra for cheap of Sildenafil Citrate stay solid for a few hours. It is counter-intuitive, but most people who are at the top of their fields are insecure.  Looked at another way, one has to stay hungry to remain at the top.  Unless a person keeps an eye on the competition and their skill set, they will tend to decline in any field.  Experiencing too much self-esteem may breed a smug indolence that is typical of narcissists.  When a winner becomes complacent with their accolades,  it tends to diminish their subsequent standing.  When a sports psychologist assists an athlete, the treatment rarely takes the form of reviewing their victories.  It is stressful to constantly perform at a high level, and one of the stresses is the refusal to be satisfied with one’s performance.  If one is thinking of a concert pianist, consider the parent who wanted their child to be a lawyer or doctor.  The parent worked long and hard on their academic development.  One child is an astronautic and the other is a state senator, yet they regard themselves as a failed parent.  Being insecure about their child’s future and their ability as a parent increased the overall effort made with the children.  Do not be deceived into thinking that self-esteem drives success.  Doubts about oneself may be crippling or highly motivating; depending on how the doubts are  interpreted.

So contrary to Mae West, too much of a good thing is not always wonderful.  Self-esteem should not come at the expense of motivation and accomplishment.  It should not come at the expense of realistic self-perception.  We all have to live with the fact we will never be Albert Schweitzer.  Sniffle.

When to Seek a Nursing Home

Dr. Holzmacher's Business LogoWhen is it the correct time to seek the assistance of a nursing home?  This is a monumental decision.   An initial hurdle is the public perception of nursing homes.  It is the place to go when one is ready to die.  This remains true for some, but much less than even twenty years ago.  Over half the patients admitted to Florida nursing homes leave in a better condition than when they were admitted.  Increasingly, nursing homes are fulfilling the duties of hospitals.  Most rehabilitation is now conducted in nursing homes, rather than hospitals and free standing rehab centers.  Rehabilitation is a general term for physical, occupational and speech therapy services.  In the state of Florida it would be fair to say that emergencies are evaluated at the hospital, but most of the long-term treatment occurs in the nursing home.

In the most general terms, seek nursing home treatment for a loved one when you are no longer able to care for them at home.  This statement sounds a bit obvious, but it is not obvious in practice.  Most people in the United States wait too long before seeking treatment for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease.  I will repeat that statement.  Most people wait too long for nursing home treatment.  This fly’s in the face of world opinion that American’s are quick to institutionalize the elderly.  Over the last twenty years, I have treated hundreds of patients whose only crime was to care for a demented loved one until they were physically and emotionally exhausted.  I have witnessed dozens of families form three shifts to care for an elderly parent twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

An especially poignant example is a family aftercare group.  A woman tearfully described the guilt she experienced placing her mother in the nursing home.  She had cared for her severely demented mother for nearly twenty years; seriously impacting her marriage and career.  Like so many, she found herself in the unpleasant and awkward position of changing her mother’s dirty diapers.  At the time of her mother’s admission, she was over one hundred years old, and required total care for bathing, dressing and toileting.  Her tears became torrential when others in the group reflected the depth of her devotion and sacrifice.  The situation was not unusual, it was the support she received from peers of her own age that etched the story into memory.
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Another misconception is that demented elderly patients will decline rapidly in the nursing home.  It is may be awkward for family members to admit their loved one has mentally and physically improved in the nursing home.  It is easier to coordinate physician care in the nursing home.  On an outpatient basis, physicians rarely have a coordinated picture of the total clinical situation.  Said another way, Dr. A may unfortunately not be aware of what Dr. B has prescribed.  Dr. B may not be aware there is a Dr. A. .  In the nursing home, there is a master medication record, and this record is often reviewed by pharmacists to catch possible drug interactions-or just plain errors.  The nearly universal lack of coordinated outpatient care leads to many preventable iatrogenic hospital and nursing home admissions.  A potentially positive aspect of nursing home care is the increased socialization.  So many widowed and single elderly become extremely isolated, and this lack of socialization may be destructive to their mental and emotional functioning.  Family members are often surprised to the degree their loved one’s spirits have brightened in the nursing home.

A general rule of caring for a loved one is to not exhaust yourself in the process.  Once exhausted, a caretaker is largely worthless to the patient and themselves.  You will not be doing anyone a favor by working yourself to death.  Do not be deceived that nursing home placement is a sign of personal failure, or that keeping a loved one in their home will slow the disease.  Consider adult day care if you are becoming exhausted caring for a person with a progressive dementia.  Once the loved one experiences falls, becomes aggressive or escapes from the home, have them evaluated as soon as possible.  Please visit local nursing homes and develop a relationship with the ones that appear most promising.  Do not wait to evaluate institutions until the patient has an emergency-typically a fall.  Please listen to close others who tell you to lighten the workload.  We only know ourselves through the eyes of others.  A happy nursing home visitor will likely do more for the patient’s spirits than a depleted caretaker cleaning another diaper.

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