Common ground is an interesting phrase that has been in usage for a long time. A more modern treatment of the phrase is rendered by social psychologists. It refers to the “mutual knowledge, mutual beliefs, and mutual assumptions” that is essential for communication between two people (Clark & Brennan 1991).” Perhaps the words “belief” and “assumption” could be compacted to belief alone, since all beliefs are essentially assumptions lacking solid proof. The notion of “belief” is that it is an “assumption” taken as the unvarnished truth, whereas an assumption implies some degree of doubt. The word “knowledge” in contrast to “belief” would mean things that are verifiable; that they can be proven. Common ground could then be rephrased to mean “mutual facts and beliefs that are essential for accurate communication.”
People of different cultures try to communicate all the time, but do they truly understand what the other means? The national outrage at foreign call centers is indicative of this problem. While the person on the other side of the line speaks recognizable English, we are often annoyed that they don’t appear to hear us accurately. Even Americans raised on one coast or the other constantly complain about the attitudes and values of those on the other coast. The other coast just doesn’t get it. The degree to which politeness or directness is utilized can be perceived as either reassuring or offensive. Notions of personal responsibility and a personal work ethic vary throughout this country, and this variability is magnified when examining other countries.
Several of the well-known herbs being widely used in these traditions, some of which they classified as stimulants because they were harmful after prolonged viagra sample canada use. How Can Anti-Erectile Dysfunction Pill Help? Due to blocked arteries leading to male reproductive organ erectness. * Psychological problems relative to depression and ED includes anxiety, fear, lack of lowest cost viagra socialization that makes it difficult to put an estimate on this problem afflicting ‘mankind’. Besides, there are several herbs, getting viagra in australia lifestyle changes and foods to reverse erection woes. The staff plays a big viagra canada sales part in giving you victory, as well. People think that because they speak the same language, their common ground is essentially the same. Many Americans with extensive experience in both France and England report shock as to the degree they feel comfortable with the French, and come to regard the British as a foreign culture. Several years ago, European Journal broadcast a series of video pieces on this very subject, noting how Americans axiomatically believe that England is an extension of American values and culture. While the media emphasizes the “special relationship” between England and America, personal experience tends to find more common ground in France.
The author was reminded of common ground recently at a gathering of old friends and colleagues. Less personal monitoring was necessary because these people have known the author for a long time. Misunderstandings were less likely to occur for the very same reason. Because the group holds similar beliefs, less time was spent in an explanation of the belief, than whether the belief should be held at all! Members of the group may become irritated with one another, but less from a personal misunderstanding, than a disagreement about the fact or belief itself. Facial expressions were accurately interpreted as serious or humorous, which has the tendency to make people more animated. Even the emotional satisfaction of the gathering was magnified by the common ground. Constantly explaining one’s beliefs and core facts is unavoidably draining, and does not appear to have the satisfaction afforded by common ground. Perhaps the curative factor in group therapy for depression is the development of a common ground. It was a wonderful gathering, made even more so by the common ground we still share.
It is not unusual for me to deliver a particular admonishment to family and patients. Sometimes people need a simple reminder; others need a figurative beating about the head and shoulders. This warning is critical to the care of the people we love. The essence of the advice is this-function as a caretaker rather than as a doctor when treating a loved one.
The definition of a human being invariably dwells on our fragile and temporary existence. The most primitive of tribal cultures always includes a medicine man to counter this fragility. Whether the setting is composed of desert nomads or slick urbanites, people consult specialists that smooth and extend their existence. Once the specialist is consulted, patients arrive at their own decisions regarding treatment. The specialist consulted may be termed an internist or shaman, yet both are healers that direct our behavior in pursuit of health. The mission of all health specialists is to provide specific directions for others to follow. Whether the treatment is eagle feathers or a new drug, the aim is to cure sickness and extend human life. Neither the shaman or internist provide day-to-day physical or emotional care.
Most family members of ailing patients want to be as helpful as possible, and this is where the trouble begins. Caregivers may cajole or force a loved one to comply with the directions of the health specialist, and find themselves ostracized by the one they are seeking to help. There is no guarantee that the behaviors proscribed by the health specialist may cure or even be helpful. Most long-term follow-up studies of actual patient compliance hover around five percent after one year. Stated another way, ninety-five percent of people do not follow doctor’s orders. Most people take more or less drugs than proscribed, and rarely comply with non-drug behaviors suggested by the physician. The caretaker who is frustrated with their loved one’s lack of compliance are very likely to be poorly compliant themselves. It’s good advice for the other guy.
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All doctors can be replaced, though all caretakers are not replaceable. Parents often comment that “I’m just a mother or father” when confronting disease in their children. This often gives voice to the parent’s sense of helplessness and feelings of inferiority to the specialist. The response I frequently employ is, “There are many doctors, but you are the only mother there will ever be.” The emotional support of a mother, father, husband and wife are indispensable and irreplaceable. Strangers may provide excellent physical care, but their actions do not have the emotional importance of close relations. Occasionally I will turn the phrase around, stating to the parent, “I’m just the doctor, you’re the parent.” It is an effort to reinforce the importance of the caregiver’s emotional support.
Even if you are a health care provider, do not fulfill that role with your loved ones. There is no shortage of opinions regarding our health, but there is always a shortage of love and support when the chips are down. Nagging a loved one into compliance with the doctor is more likely to result in bitter feelings than better health. Such nagging may be taken as a need to control, rather than the need to see the patient regain their health. As a parent, best friend or spouse, remember that the relations built over a lifetime cannot be replaced by a stranger-no matter how educated and skilled. The non-specific factor in all forms of recovery is love and support. Leave the specifics to the specialists.
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June 18, 2011 1:23 pm |
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